The Catalyst

By Ellen Laase, Reporter

Adding to their repertoire of campaigns to save the animals which include such crazy ideas as drinking beer instead of milk, PETA has launched a new campaign. In a recent effort to reduce malevolent feelings toward fish, PETA has suggested the name be changed to “sea kittens,” believing people would never want to put a hook through anything with a name so innocent and sweet. A large portion of the PETA website has been devoted to saving the sea kittens, complete with a “Create Your Own Sea Kitten” game and little-known sea kitten facts.

PETA has even created children’s stories to explain the horrors these poor, helpless sea kittens face. In these various stories, we come across Tara the Tuna, a suicidal sea kitten, and Fred the Flounder who is so insane, he spends his days chasing his tail. PETA says Fred chases his tail because he is depressed and alone, but I thought it was simply due to Whirling Disease. Finally, we have “Snuggle Buddies,” a story about Sally, a sea kitten so jealous of the “land kittens” who live in comfortable homes, she spends her days plotting revenge against them. If PETA is indeed attempting to appeal to children, the best method may not be to portray the sea kittens as bitter, insane creatures that spend their days dreaming of cooking the children’s beloved land kitten in a pie.

Could changing the name of something really affect people’s viewpoints about them? Calling a killer whale by its true name, the Orca, doesn’t make it any less of a seal killer. Calling a tomato a fruit doesn’t make it seem any less like a vegetable (which is it anyway?). It doesn’t matter what you call them: fish, sea kittens, or Sally, they’re still slithery, slimy and have eyes on the side of their pointy, little heads. As Shakespeare said, “a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.” Similarly, a fish by any other name would still stink.